Constellations

Systemic constellations are a way of working with issues within human systems. Their initial and most common application is in relation to issues within your families or arising from your families. These are called family constellations. Their other main use is in relation to organizations such as businesses, clubs schools etc. These are called organizational constellations. [The work] is usually done within a group of unrelated people. Members of the group are chosen to represent members or elements of the family or organization that is being addressed. In this process hidden and unexpected dynamics operating within the system are revealed and addressed in a way that aims to find a healthy and respectful place for all members of the system in question.“

(from the International Systemic Constellations Association)

Systemic constellation work is a powerful means to reveal complex relations and thereby find prompt solutions to present problems. It is suitable for resolving personal conflicts, persistent behavioural patterns or hardened fronts in organisations. In that way the ability for making changes becomes possible.

The systemic constellation work, adapted amongst others from Matthias Varga von Kibed, is solution- and future-oriented. The basic principles of the systemic apprehension are transferred to superordinate systems (e.g. categories of conflict, body organs, personality traits or organisations). The facilitator adopts a mindful and unprejudiced attitude towards the entirety.

3.1 Constellation work

What is constellation work?

Unrelated persons (or as well a picture, figurine or symbol) are representatively arranged in constellation to each other according to what feels right. The representatives ‘feel’ their positions in the respective system with striking accuracy.

The starting constellation picture represents the initial situation at present. Solutions can be brought up by changing the positions and by verbal and symbolical expression according to the perceptive intuition of the representatives. Conflicts are then viewed from a different perspective. Due to the client’s changed perception, the corresponding system is changing as well. This brings a healing resolution to the entirety.

Supervision before and after is inevitable for a professional and successful constellation work. As a result, phenomenal progresses can be achieved in a short time, which enables the client to actively create an individual way of life.

After 15 years of work-experience, I can retrospectively follow cross-generational progresses within families. They manifest in the present e.g. by greater individual freedom to take action. With respect- and mindfulness for possibilities and limitations, an emotional affiliation for the members of the corresponding system can be maintained.

Book tip:

Hellinger, B., Weber, G., & Beaumont, H. (1998). Love’s hidden symmetry: What makes love work in relationships. Phoenix, AZ: Zeig, Tucker & Theisen.

Attention to the child

About the desire to give love through the child and preserve it… and about enduring the gap between desired fulfilment and experienced frustration.

As a father/mother/teacher, do you experience recurring frustration in dealing with a child?

Are there situations, both at home and in groups, in which no pedagogic action is effective? Then it may be useful to expand the view: every behaviour shows you something.

How does the child’s behaviour serve the whole system?

It is important to consider the annoying aspect of the child separately in a way, so that self reflection, as well as perception from the outside and a view on the whole is possible.

Perceive the child and its behaviour as barometer for unseen issues in their specific context or in the whole.

Allowed questions in view of the child:

  • It is important to look at every growth stage, whether the child is in mental and physical balance, if it shows healthy resilience behaviour?
  • Are there components of basic trust?
  • Can the child freely live its development? Can it physically stand and walk confidentially; can it control its motor function?
  • Are all sensory perceptions open and accessible at all time and in every situation?
  • Can it perceive affiliation and help to shape it; can it get involved with contacts/friendships and keep them?
  • Does it show tolerance to food and the environment (from the outside through a regularly and balanced food supply as well as excretions)?
  • Are striking patterns of closeness and distance or in dealing with criticism recognizable?

Often it is difficult for reference persons to recognize the fine line between personal limitations and a balanced, supporting structure for an individual in the context of a group.

Recurrent incapacities in the position of the caretaker:

  • not being able to show feelings, even though the caretaker loves the child
  • not being able to restrain reactive aggressions, even though conscious about what it can cause
  • having unconscious preferences or rejections for individuals in a group, without being able to use a corrective when confronted with the individuals’ experiences

A reflection of the personal relationship structures is helpful here.

As the weakest link children often adopt the attitude: “Rather me than you mum/dad/sick friend…”
T
heir “willingness to make sacrifices” is already subtly perceptible when the inner attitudes of the closest related person get permanently disordered, even before signs of disturbances are visible.

In collaboration with educators, parents and children, and in the facilitation of conflict groups, it is always beneficial to experience how solutions to every structure of each system can be found.

Acceptance of a triggering incident always signifies an expansion to the whole system.

Possible therapeutic interventions:

  • Individual, couple, family coaching
  • Constructively lived patchwork” (individual, couple, group facilitation)
  • Facilitation of conflict groups
  • Workshops/lectures regarding these topics

Parents grow with their children

When we look at children and their deep love, which ties them to a foreign fate, then the other question is: What do they need to come off the entanglement in a good way and be free for their own destiny?” (page 25 ‘‘ Kindliche Not und kindliche Liebe‘‘ Sylvia Gomez Pedra/Carl-Auer)
They need an affiliation, wherever it is present, to the maternal and paternal, brotherly and friendly cultural home, regardless of their relational situation and its interruptions.
Even in seemingly hopeless, externally interrupted movements, an awareness of inner affiliation in a supportive, organized attitude is restoring.
Affiliated to the “inner order” are several loving movements towards far, forgotten people or groups; for example ex-partners of the parents/siblings/half siblings/caregiver, with a significant fate or grandparents and their background…
If the child is allowed to love/see everyone “in its mind’s eye”, it is free for its own destiny. It can live individuality with personal responsibility and health.

Every child is unique with individual underlying conditions, distinct roots and unique growth opportunities.
Let us give them the chance, so that the love of every single one can freely flow in families and society.

Dealing with death

Death is a part of live: A constant practice of letting go to create new space for every living thing.

Each person experiences this more or less voluntarily and thus more ore less relievingly. Practicing the feeling of “becoming empty“ in a daily routine, can be helpful, e.g. through exercises of attitude, meditation, and rituals like fasting.

We know from Franz von Assisi’s life experience (1182-1226) that love for the divine and for all living creatures form an inseparable unit.

As he also embraced brother death at the end of his days, it was no new ascetic exercise for him, but a necessary consequence of his “yes” to life, with death as part of it and thus the crucial solace.” (Markus Hofer, Francesco 2000, S.235)

As described by Leonardo Boff: “Finally he reconciled with brother death, the complex which is hardest to be integrated by the human psyche. A human being reconciles with another human being. Life embraces death like a brother.” (Leonardo Boff, Franziskus von Rom und die Ökologie des Franz von Assisi)

In the image of a lifelong brotherly companionship, it can be experienced as a walk side by side, delivering strength, in consciousness of affiliation and polarity at the same time.

The “embrace“ in the moment of physical death is, in comprehension of the intimate companionship, a natural action. The look in each other’s eyes during the embrace is an expression of deep, solving affiliation.

Giving more to life…

Outside the conscience, soul movements can be linked to death so intensively, that the “living” is unable to get a chance. The so called “blind soul movement“ is linked to parts of a soul and fates which have not been integrated.

I resemble you in your sadness.” Like this or in the same line, the soul movement of a 21-year old student in a reactive depressive episode could be described, before he found therapeutic support. After weeks without any energy he was forced to pause his studies.

What came out in the systemic therapy was that this mental affiliation was directed towards his unknown uncle (of the same given name). It was his mother‘s favorite brother, who passed away at 21 (at the same age as he is now) during war times. Sensing these soul movements, eliciting the uncle’s situation and allowing space to the mother’s loss of the brother and her impeded grief during war was necessary to undergo release. Energy of change could be set free. In his consciousness an uplifting attitude was ensued, like “In view of this fate, I will make something of my life”.

Now personal ways of action were “allowed“ and concrete actions followed.

Asking his mother later on, she was able to talk about the traumatic loss for the first time under immense emotional pain. She had wanted to protect her son from this pain.

Possible symptoms caused by such soul movements:

  • Symptoms of pain
  • Growth disturbances
  • Speech disorders
  • Addictive disorders
  • Reactive depressive episodes
  • Burnout syndrome
  • Chronic fatigue syndrome
  • Incurable diseases
  • And others
Every impression without expression leads to depression.” (Dr. Jörg Müller)

In creative therapy with its nonverbal methods, the phenomenological attentive presence in the therapeutic context or the view into the morphogenetic field, it is possible to integrate lifeless parts into ourselves and/or letting them go in order to allow for survival and life.

Therapeutic offers:

  • Therapeutic and spiritual company for persons with an incurable disease and inclusion of the person’s environment
  • Individual therapy, couple therapy, family therapy
  • Crisis intervention in case of sudden death or suicide
  • Coaching after loss of a partner, for persons who live a new relationship
  • Motivation training
  • Workshops/ lectures (talks)
Something for the soul… for catching up

What about our life? Does our life come to an end after death? Will we leave it behind at death? Will we be rid of it? Or can we take it with us to another sphere? Can we even take our body there in a certain way? For instance all its experiences? For how are our body’s experiences different than personal spiritual perceptions, like our body in its physical existence also exists spiritually.

In a way that its spiritual existence and perceptions outlast physical death and that we will take them to the other sphere. In fact all experiences, also those we would have wanted to get rid of. So also heavy burdens, sorrow, guilt? Will it outrun us in the spiritual sphere? Does it wait for us until we embrace it, if not here, then there?

What about people we wanted to come to an end with? We meet them there of all people. Maybe they are there before us and await us? So why postpone the encounter? We reintegrate them already in our present life. How? The way we wanted to get rid of them. The way they became inescapable for us. The way we already are inseparably linked to them. Thereby we overcome our end even now. We outlast our end and we outgrow it spiritually. As we are already here, as we have to be there and will be there – never-ending, even now complete.

Translated from B. Hellinger, Natürliche Mystik Wege spiritueller Erfahrung, Kreuzverlag, pp. 168/169

Rituals

In coaching and therapeutic work rituals or ritualized intervisions provide adequate symbolic solutions in complex life situations.

Nowadays we are affected by constant changes. The consequence is, that traditions get lost. Therefore rituals can provide identity, strength and support and provide affiliation for the individual.

Cultural and religious rituals can be applied in therapeutic work.

It is important to consider the differences of social culture and industrial societies on the one hand, on the other hand the different cultures and regions, as well as religions.

In everyday life, while exercising in economy, in politics or in (combination with) critical life-changing moments, rituals can be used by individuals, couples or families.

Rituals are more important during a communication than words are needed to think.” (Marry Douglas, brit. Ethnologin)

From the constructivist point of view there is no everyday-life ritual itself- only if participants do such an ascription of meaning during a process of systemic self-reflection (Willke, 1989 und Schweitzer, 1998), it becomes an everyday life ritual informing about the culture of the particular organization.

So is the rhythmic breathing an automatism which goes along with humans from the beginning of their existence until the end of it.

Making oneself aware of breathing can be ritualized in many ways. For instane to be aware of receiving, agreeing and consciously noticing while breathing in and in the same time also being aware of releasing and letting go while breathing out.

According to Victor Turner, the human being is neurobiologically constructed to communicate through rituals. The human being transcendences its physical existence due to the possibility to interpret the world and being able to give it a meaning. Its interpretation outlives its own life on earth.

Sokrates is not forgotten and the “wednic” rituals are still in practised after millenniums.

The world is stronger than the human,
but the interpretation of the world’s significance,
is stronger than the world.”
(Irma Breitwieser, artist)

Here “ritual“ means the construction of “sense” as a social cultural benefit.

The idea of ritual was all along associated with a transcendental dimension.

In the religious context it is more important to focus on the image of humainty.
Who am I? Where do I come from? Where will I go? What am I doing here? Which system do I belong to? With whom am I connected and in which way? In which intensity and deepness these questions are asked or answered depends mainly on the religious point of view.” (translated from “Chaos und Ordnung im Ritual“ Cornelia Vogelsange)

Rituals are supposed to release energy for changes, which can help employees in organizations to resolve hardened relationship patterns.
Rituals can be defined as an organized sequence of symbolic actions.
A ritual supports change and is always dynamic. In a chaotic emotional situation the function of rituals is a “canalization of affect” which brings order and clarification.
Thereby can a ritual of acknowledgment often free energy for change. Ritualized breathers have their merit.
The ongoing therapeutic work always awakens the inventive talent of client and therapist astoundingly. The rituals, created or developed in this moment, can be meaningfully canalized within huge conflict energies, e.g. separation, loss or new beginnings.
Emotionally compressing averting messages, which are present in a system, can be dissolved -in the therapeutic context- after mental clarification by means of affirmation of reinforcement and by speech/ knock rituals. Thereby individual freedom can be experienced without losing affiliation to the system.
1(Potential module for a workshop- on demand: „Finding rituals that serve my life.”)

In art therapy the therapeutic process, expressed in color and form, does not only make the topic “visual” , “visible” or “comprehensive”, but can also be creatively ritualized in its form.
For instance thematically recognized in a moldable clay figure, either dried and restored to the earth or dissolved in a purifying fire. In a painting process (expressive painting) a topic can be transformed by continuous painting or a developed essential aspect of the picture can be creatively and thus thematically revisited and developed further.
Abandonment does not take- but give. It gives the magnitude of the simple.” (Heidegger)

Through many years of accompanying fasting patients (according to the Buchinger Method) in their physical and mental cleansing ritual, I was able to see how fertile soil can be created for self-cleansing, regulatory mechanisms of personality maturation.
For me as an art therapist this special condition of my counterparts is -in individual or group therapy -oftentimes an additional support for far-reaching, releasing therapeutic work.
The way of applying rituals often appears by itself, across cultural and religious standards.
My counterpart and his background thereby offer the platform during therapeutic work and its corresponding guidelines.

Each religion has its own beauty.“ Dalai Lama

During my long-standing cooperation with therapists belonging to the Pallottiner-Order, I experienced how recovered long forgotten Christian rituals can have wondrous curative and releasing power, e.g. anointment or blessing rituals, rhythmic iterations, acting meditation, bibliodrama, new forms of conciliation rituals, etc.

1Auszüge aus: Rosemarie Welter-Enderlin/Bruno Hildenbtrand: „ Rituale- Vielfalt in Alltag und Therapie“

Bodywork in the energy field

Harnessing the energy released in the solution image so that the movement of the soul has a little more time to take up space in the body. From an early age, the haptic understanding and creation with hands was elementary for me. In artistic work, as well as in the handling and care of the human body, touch is so much more than the technical expertise of nursing. With head, heart and hand, encounters can grow into a greater whole. As a registered nurse, I was able to learn various techniques through further training and integrate them into my work over the years and use them for migraines and other spontaneous symptoms. Foot reflexology massage, lymphatic drainage and stroking with the Lemniscate have become favorite treatments. In a protected space, giving a soul movement time to rest, and allowing the inner space to expand physically can round off a constellation work in a valuable way.

Interviews

Interview with David

How did you come across Mrs. Kemmerling? What was your first concern and first impression of the meeting?

The first thing I wanted was more “clarity” and the ability to make decisions. A friend recommended Ms. Kemmerling.

What impressed me was the complete perception of my situation, looking from the lack of orientation up to the potential. The first constellation in my life fascinated me.

Seeing myself from the outside, linking the deeper connections, fascinated me and released energy. When I left, I knew that I could move on with confidence.

 

What do you value most about the systemic work with her – over a longer period of time, sometimes at yearly intervals?

The trusting exchange and her ability to recognize the “adjusting screws” that are needed for further development.

The knowledge that I can build on this, go into depth and still have this professional framework in which I can fully reveal myself.

 

What do you tell third parties is the greatest value of a constellation?

For me, this is a great opportunity for reorganization.

Recognizing entanglements and possibly the causes of current issues / challenges – at the same time, this insight enables a different (conciliatory) attitude towards these challenges.

 

As a single with shared custody of a two-year-old daughter, the last 3 years have definitely been turbulent. To what extent was systemic thinking and intervention helpful?

Quite honestly, it was an absolute lifesaver. In my case, the challenges were humanly and organizationally not easy. Having already made professional contact with Ms. Kemmerling made it easier.

It was very helpful to recognize where my own issues and areas of work in progress were, and at the same time to recognize and better understand the causes and connections or entanglements of other people in the system (youth welfare office, lawyers, etc.). At the same time, this work helps me to better categorize my role as a father in the “patchwork” system. In addition, the work helps me to recognize possible hurdles/problems in advance and at the same time to deal with them well.

 

Have you come into contact with elements of artistic expression in your work with Ms. Kemmerling so far? If so, what do you take away from it?

Every now and then I have come into contact with artistic elements in my work – each time I have a liberating feeling afterwards; it makes me want more.

The artistic work has a lasting effect from the exercise in everyday life and allows the soul to come alive.

 

Interview with Lara P. about her approach and experience of Gertrud Kemmerling`s various therapeutic offerings.

When did you meet Gertrud Kemmerling the first time and how was your personal therapy experience?

I first met Gertrud in 2017 during an art week at Buchinger Wilhelmi. This memorable encounter led me to individual art therapy. She could see into my painting process with a depth beyond my awareness, and by the end of the week we even did a systemic constellation for assistance in tidying up the studio.;-)

I experienced this as expansive, and extremely memorable.

Initially, I was bewildered by some of the findings, but slowly the things she pointed out began to make sense.

 

What came out of this therapy work and how has it developed?

It is hard to remember the exact processes now, after seven years. I know that with more recent processes Gertrud helped me bring my whole life together and find direction, in just one evening!

She has great capacity for reaching a solution in a single session, which I think showcases her special abilities as a therapist.

 

Can You describe in your own words her unique approach?

She can accomodate many people at different times of the day, often at the very last minute (the schedule is as fluid as the lake of constance she so loves to swim in!)

Moreover, when working, Gertrud moves seamlessly between different levels of reality – from the painting, to the constellation field, to a systemic coaching, she draws bridges and syntheses.

The parts and the whole come to make sense.

 

Now that you can look back on several years of coaching with her: after coming out oft he first constellation work with her…what made the change?

I think Gertrud gave me a very fresh look at a new way of doing therapy that was extremely creative, spiritually in- touch, and devoted to its cause. While I train, I sometimes think of her highly creative mind. This inspires me that there are many directions for a session to go in any given moment. As she always says…“nehmen, was ist.“ („take what is there“) 🙂

 

You are studying psychology…and in a way you are still a systemic coachee student next to her.
How can you overcome the geographical distance?

Haha, thank you, I do not know, I guess I need to train in systemic constellations somewhere in California!

Gertrud communicated the spirit of the work; now I need to go and learn the foundations!

Also, the field is always accessible, even when on Skype.

But maybe my writing letters is also a way of overcoming geographical distance.

 

Thank you Lara for your words and the refreshing, charming encounters between us.